I want to get off!

This was how I felt as I sat on a yellow plastic ‘tray’ at the top of one particularly steep waterslide during a recent visit to Texas. 100ft up with only seconds to wait, my confidence evaporated, fear swiftly moved in and I silently wished I’d never got on. I wanted to get off! (And I probably would have, had it not meant walking back down past the line of people who moments before I had queued beside. I’m 6ft 5in tall and my pride wouldn’t let me!)

I don’t mind admitting that I had a similar feeling more recently. On the way to the hospital to await the arrival of Joshua I couldn’t help feeling that I wanted to get off! Nervous about what lay ahead and unsure as to my ability to cope with it all, my confidence evaporated, fear swiftly moved in and I silently wished I hadn’t done what I’d obviously done eight and half months ago. I wanted to get off!

As with the Texan waterslide, a period of protracted waiting (and preparation?) was followed by intense, adrenalin-filled activity. Unlike the watery wall, my journey into the unknown world of parenthood will not be over in an instant. Yet despite my fears, and feelings of inadequacy, ‘I want to stay on!’