Is there no end to a mother's love?

Apparently not!














At least not when your boys are sniffing and snorting they're way through thick colds. The above picture represents the seemingly bounldess love Lisa has for Joshua and Daniel as she lovingly employs the 'snot sucker' to relieve they're breathing.

I love my boys, but....?!

Overly competitive?

Without doubt, one of the most recurring questions we've faced over the last two and a half years we've been in Stratford is why we're here - and specifically 'why have [you] moved to Stratford?' Inevitably the enquiry is laced with disbelief!

Given the result of a recent 'survey' and the fact that most people who can, move out, their incredulity would seem justified. According to the poll, Newham (the borough in which Stratford is located) is the 'third worst place to live in Britain'! Apparently we [Newham] 'have to face lots of challenges. Health, unemployment, crime and teenage pregnancy levels are alarming. It has many of the downsides of living in London and few of the benefits – except the kind you get off the social.' Nice!

I guess I haven't completely died to my competitive streak becasue I wanted to know who'd 'beaten us'?!

What's more, Chelmsford (our former home) was judged to be the 8th best place to live(!) - that's some 'downward' spiral! However well versed our answer is to the question 'why Stratford?' the real answer will come down to what God does through us in a place we call 'home'.

[Things could be worse - we could live in Middlesborough - apparently the worst place to live in Britain?!] Maybe Newham will 'win' next year.

For my mother-in-law

[more to follow - honest!]

It's been a while!

Too many plates to spin or a spinner who’s not up to it(?), either way it’s been seventy-seven days since last I ‘blogged’ about anything.

Since when… the Salvation Army have bought a house for us to live in. We finally(!) had a dedication (Christening) for Joshua and Daniel. I (briefly) lost my life to Facebook! I had a great week at InTouch (the Army’s sportsweek for 8-12 year olds). I entered my 33rd year and received a card from my Gran ‘to her nephew’?! My Dad turned 60 which gave us an excuse to throw a surprise ‘This Is Your Life’ celebration. His oldest grandson had his second birthday. We found dry-rot in the Army’s new ‘investment’! I lost another pint of blood (voluntarily I should add). I took part in my first protest (much to my father’s displeasure!). I’ve gone back to university – Kings College London this time. Joshua's started using the toilet and gone into a proper bed! I've been to my first Chinese wedding and last Sunday married my cousin (to her husband obviously!) – one less Hanover in the world! And we’ve just had another great week in Scotland (where I nearly climbed my first ‘Munro’). Throughout it all Daniel hasn’t slept much!

A perfect parenting metaphor?

Apparently there is a common reason why people who drown in rivers do so - they get caught between two opposing currents, one going downstream, one going upstream. Now if this ever happens to you the perceived wisdom is that you should let yourself sink to the bottom and let the downstream current carry you away from the rapids before you try to come up for air?!

So there you have it, a perfect metaphor for parenting: sink, so you don't drown! As the Borg in Star Trek would say 'resistance is futile. You will be assimilated!'

As parents of two wonderfully full-time boys(!) we have no choice but to surrender to the madness!

Bottom line: as hard as it is now having two little dictators, when we're 80, sorry when I am 80 (Lisa will be 81!), we're not going to regret our 50 year old sons! I mean, am I going to wish that I played more golf, run more, or played more with the boys? Am I going to wish that I worked more, or spent time with my family?

Where is that white flag?!

Things I've learnt (been reminded of) in the last fourteen days

1. A baby oyster is called a 'spat'.

2. I really love cycling.

3. We've got some crackin' friends.

3. A group of hippopotamuses is called a 'bloat'.

4. I've got a great family.

My Aunt Ann cooks a cracking cooked breakfast (but so does Lisa I add without hesitation to avoid any claims of unfavourable comparison!) while much appreciation heads to my cousins (who we unfortunately only see infrequently) and their spouses/family for the time taken to pop in and to garner some Infacol from 'somewhere' as Daniel threatened to blow!

5. Scotland is one beautiful (if rather wet) country!



It's fair to say that Lisa was hard pushed to tell the difference between summer in Scotland and autumn or winter!





6. Holidaying with two young boys doesn't always feel like a holiday?!

The shepherds cottage in the middle of nowhere would've been cracking if it was just Lisa and I, but when there are four of you in a two roomed 'house', you're all sleeping in one room and one of the four spends a large proportion of his time crying at full throttle (and it wasn't me!) then a time of relaxation is not always readily attainable! That said, it was beautiful and Joshua does look great (courtesy of generous, breakfast cooking Aunt)in his little 'wetsuit'!

Unbelievable?!

Along with the boys, Lisa has been visiting her Mum and Nan for the last couple of days in an effort to enable me to get on with a fair bit of prep. that's needed to be done - and by and large I've got through it. But then this morning on the phone Lisa commented that she knew I'd been watching The West Wing! How would she know such a thing? Has she employed one of these 'detective people' to make sure I get on with stuff?! How much of a procrastinator does she think I am? (Actually let's not go there!!) Are there cameras dotted around the flat?! Well, thankfully not, it turns out she read my blog and deduced, Poirot-esque, that recent quotes meant recent watching!

Well look what else I've been doing (Lisa!)... I've been reading the chapter in the book you left for me 'Baby-proofing your marriage'.

All joking aside it's a good read with a good mix of shared experience and humour. I'd certainly recommend it to anyone with little terrorists (sorry children!), or those thinking of having children, in fact it may become a common gift from the Hanover household.

I wouldn't want to put anyone off, but be warned...

'If a first baby is a hand grenade thrown at a marriage, then a newborn and a toddler are a full-frontal assault, complete with machine guns, heat-seeking missiles, and stealth bombers.'

because...

'when you have one child, one parent parents while the other does his or her own thing. With the additional demands of more children, it gets harder to carve out any 'me time'. Not having time to recharge and feed your sense of self is, for many, the real challenge of adjusting to having more kids. Personal time is like a search for the Fountain of Youth, or the Seven Wonders of the World. It's like winning the lottery.'

The problem being...

'that when we lose the 'joie de vivre' activities we get emotionally and physically drained. What is left over, we usually give to our kids first. When our internal reserves are low, our threshold for dealing with our spouse's annoying quirks (what quirks?!) also gets dangerously low. At times, we circle each other like wolves, ready to fight over the scraps of free time that do exist.'

And then...

'When you do get to talk, 90% of the time you talk about the kids. While those conversations are necessary, when we relate to each other only as whoever's parents, it becomes pretty hard to keep the spark alive.'

Thankfully the writers don't only make plain the harsh realities, they draw upon their own experiences to suggest 'survival techniques and strategies'! Which I'll share shortly.

Two big decisions!

'Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.'

Elizabeth Stone

[Elizabeth doesn't mention that your heart is likely to be sleep-walking outside your body as your eldest son might not realise that 5am is not the best time to get up!]

It's our anniversary!

Taken from Kahlil Gibran's 'The Prophet' the following was read by our good friend Richard Bradbury ('The Big Man') shortly after 3pm on this very day 5 years ago...

Then Almitra spoke again and said...
"And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:

You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together
when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together
even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread
but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


A fine day was had by all, but an even finer five years have flown by since - I love my wife!

The Good(est) News!

If the angel Gabriel had phoned himself it would not have been any more exciting than the call we got this week.

It's perhaps been a while since adjectives such as angelic and cherubic have been applied to my little brother - Weeman, but the lack of a heavenly choir or trumpeting seraphim did nothing to diminish the gospel he proclaimed!

Sometime at the start of December Joshua and Daniel are getting a cousin! And Lisa and I are getting our first neice or a nephew!
In other words, Simon and Katie are having a baby!! And we can't wait... largely because we want to see how the new arrival is accommodated in the back of an Alfa Romeo sportscar!

Transporting conundrums aside it's fair to say we're well excited!

[It looks like he or she has a touch of the Jonny Wilkinsons?!]

God's gift

'You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.'~Desmond Tutu

Well done Wee-man! (and Katie)

Mark Twain apparently reckoned marriage...

'Makes of two fractional lives a whole;
It gives to two purposeless lives a work
And doubles the strength of each to perform it
It gives to two questioning natures a reason for living,
And something to live for;
It will give a new gladness to the sunshine,
A new fragrance to the flowers,
A new beauty to the earth,
And a new mystery to life.'

Which is why we're really chuffed that today my brother (afore mentioned 'Weeman' a.k.a. Simon!) and his wife celebrate one year of 'purpose'!

The soundtrack of our lives!

Ask anyone (any parent that is!) and they'll tell you that having kids involves sacrifice. Some might say it's all about sacrifice, but that would be harsh! But whether it's your sleep, your money or your sanity I reckon little people (and I don't mean Oompah Loompahs?!) can seriously rob you of it all! But let me add, very quickly, it's all worth it!!

That said, one of the things that we don't seem to do as much (although Lisa will probably try to deny this!) now that we have two 'little people' is buy music. Not sheet music, but recorded music! Which means my wish-list grows by the day! Currently I'm fighting the temptation to 'invest' in some Bob Dylan, Ray LaMontagne and Rufus Wainwright!

Yet without knowing it, certainly without asking for it, it would appear our lives have acquired a new 'soundtrack'. Although far from original and not a little repetitive our household currently seems to be filled by 'Tears and Tantrums' the latest offering from the as yet undiscovered 'Joshua James'!

I'm left wondering (hoping?!) whether or not other parents of young children have a similar soundtrack endlessly looping, albeit by different artists?!

What's in a name?

Unfortunately 'Philo' and 'Thistle' didn't get a look in again, nor did Caleb (a definite possibility for a while) or Doren, but there's always next time(!). Actually I'm not sure there will be?!

Still, as with his brother before him, when considering the not insignificant responsibility of naming our son, we knew wanted a biblical name, ideally with a meaning we liked and a character that we admired and wouldn't mind our son emulating! Hence...

Daniel (of Hebrew origin) meaning: 'my judge is the Lord'.

We can only hope and pray that Daniel will come to share his namesakes' quiet convictions - I mean, he even had a song written about him...

Standing by a purpose true,
Heeding God’s command,
Honour them, the faithful few!
All hail to Daniel’s band!

Dare to be a Daniel,
Dare to stand alone!
Dare to have a purpose firm!
Dare to make it known.

Many mighty men are lost
Daring not to stand,
Who for God had been a host
By joining Daniel’s band.

Many giants, great and tall,
Stalking through the land,
Headlong to the earth would fall,
If met by Daniel’s band.

Hold the Gospel banner high!
On to vict’ry grand!
Satan and his hosts defy,
And shout for Daniel’s band.


As for his middle name? Perhaps 'Thomas' isn't such an obviously positive choice. It's fair to say that people are less likely to readily acknowledge Thomas' positive attributes. I mean, he was a bit of a doubter wasn't he?!

Rather ironically (for a variety of reasons), even the night before Daniel was born we found ourselves literally doubting 'Thomas' was the name for us! But we reckon it is (Lisa certainly knew it was when I started suggesting Doren as an alternative - she's so square!). But we reckon it is because after all his mum and dad have been known to question a few things?!

The Thomas of the New Testament may have 'doubted', but his doubts had a purpose - he wanted to know the truth (and you can't knock him for that). His questioning was a way of responding to his own faith journey , but they weren't a way of life.

So, what's in a name? If his parents prayers are answered and our hopes realised then Daniel Thomas Hanover will grow as a boy and become a man known for his quiet, but steadfast convictions birthed from a healthy, inquiring faith. May God hear and answer prayer.

The Hanover Boys

Without doubt one of the highlights of the last few days was when Daniel and Joshua met for the first time.

It seemed that over the last week Joshua had somehow worked out that something was afoot. He’d recently started lifting Lisa’s tops (hopefully a pastime he’ll grow out of!) to pat her tummy saying ‘baby, baby!’ And then the morning after Daniel had been born (but not yet home) when he got up, Joshua made his way from his cot to the crib we’ve put up in our room to look in saying ‘baby? baby?’ Somehow he knew things were about to change!

So when he finally met Daniel, it’s fair to say Joshua was well excited! With his incessant mantra of 'baby, baby, baby!' and his insatiable need to get as close as brotherly possible, he’s been lovely ever since – really affectionate and intrigued by this new arrival. Whether the novelty will wear off when he realises Daniel’s here to stay and competing for scarce resources, only time will tell!